my tweets (vaguely edited down)

But! I have vodka which means maybe I should go for something thematic. How about; #AlexanderNevsky and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good Day?

From here we go to Great Novgorod, where the Stupid Hat Brothers have decided to woo the Stupid Hat Princess. #AlexanderNevsky

Must be a player character. He's wearing a li'l lamellar vest in town. #AlexanderNevsky

Dude are you actually going to BUY that +2 axe +3 vs giants, or are you just gonna swing it around the shop? #AlexanderNevsky

Oh don't worry about that, that's just the regular big mob with ringing bells. Happens pretty much every day in Novgorod. #AlexanderNevsky

Oh look a little Grima Wormtongue looking toady dude in all black. He can't POSSIBLY be a German collaborator can he? #AlexanderNevsky

The population of Novgorod is like "why do we even have bells if we aren't going to ring them pretty much all the time." #AlexanderNevsky

Meanwhile, back at Camp Genocidal Religious Fanatic. #AlexanderNevsky

Dude you should TOTALLY moon the Germans. #AlexanderNevsky #ProgressivelyDrunker

Gavrilo, do you have a single good idea in #AlexanderNevsky? Oh that's right, he rolled 18:00 strength, he doesn't NEED to think.

I'm an ADULT which means I don't have to watch the denoument and instead can watch, let's say, the final battle from The 13th Warrior.

This Fjorsvartnir album has a sword-wielding jotun and a burning church on the cover. It had better get faster paced and more screamy soon.

AWRITE! Finally this album has picked up! Earlier it wasn't inspiring me to raid the marzipan cookies at Ikea, let alone England.

Just randomly screaming bits of the Havamal is pretty Viking metal right? IT IS BETTER TO BE ALIIIIIIIIVE THE LIVING CAN KEEP A COWWW UGH

What's really weird is how "morning star" "flail" and "bec de corbin" are all seriously metal weapons but don't make for good song lyrics.

Star Trek III: The Search for Sausage #ReplaceMovieTitleWithSausage

Fear and Linguisa in Las Vegas #ReplaceMovieTitleWithSausage

The Bangers of Britain #ReplaceMovieTitleWithSausage

Captain Bludwurst #ReplaceMovieTitleWithSausage

"You know what I Claudius needed? More houses than just Julians." "You know what LotR needed? Their fights weren't brutal enough." #GoT(1/2)

"You know what both I Claudius and LotR needed? More sexuality. It wasn't obvious enough that these characters were Getting Some." #GoT(2/2)

That said, "It's Like I Claudius Meets LotR Only Now With More Houses, More Brutality, and Teh Sexx0rs" is a pretty compelling combination.

Job hunting; imagine two people yelling at you - one about how terrible you are, one about homelessness and death - when you need to focus.

I've listened to dance music too long today. The ceiling fan in this cafe is making loud buzzing noises I'm parsing as part of their music.

"Big Man with a Gun," NIN -> "Ty Cobb," Soundgarden -> "Black Betty," Spiderbait.

Turns out 21 year old associate has NEVER previously heard "The Downward Spiral." FUCK I'M OLD

whoa Black Betty bam ba lam she's fryin' up spam bam ba lam she's doin' it on cam bam ba lam whoa Black Betty bam ba lam