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brushwolfOkay I have Dungeons and Dragons III The Book of Vile Darkness. Because if I can't actually PLAY DnD this is... uh... um.
So basically Nhagruul lived on as the #BookOVileDarkness turning all who read it evil, thus insuring the library wouldn't get it back.
1200 years is a long time for evil to triumph without challenge from a plucky group of 4-6 player characters of levels 8-12. #BoVD
Okay so the #BoVD is now in three pieces, so a collect-the-parts and destroy-the-evil-artifact campaigns.
Uh dude maybe Pelor didn't zap YOU into being the first real knight of the New Sun in 800 years is because you're kinda arrogant? #BoVD
Okay so after the Night's Watch got massacred Sir Young White Maleprotagonist is tracking the Wildlings on foot through um, a river. #BoVD
Okay the cheesiness of the magic-weapon/armor/ring/bag o holding buying spree is both hideous and pure D&D. #BookOVileDarkness
Okay so all it took was "I'm a Knight of the New Sun like your brother" and this NPC spills the entire adventure set-up. #BookOfVileDorkness
#BoVD is getting to be like a bad joke. Shadar Kai elite artillery, a Zehir assassin and a Vermin template walk into a Flind Bar and say OW.
The gods of Convenient Plot arranged that Ser Hero Squarejaw could kill a Half Elf Brute as self defense, which isn't "in cold blood" #BoVD
THE CAVE OF CAER BANNOG! WHEREIN, CARVED IN MYSTIC RUNES UPON THE VERY LIVING ROCK, THE LAST WORDS OF OLFIN BEWYR OF RHEGED *kaboom*
MAKE PLAIN THE RESTING PLACE OF THE MOST HOLY GRAIL. #BookOVileDarkness #OkaySoQuotingMontyPythonIsCheapNObvious
GO GO GADGET OPTIC NERVE! Making your eyeball vulnerable 50' ahead of a party not in metal armor is really not a useful ability in DnD.#BoVD
Vermin Lord's all "unholy Vecna this is why I'm NEUTRAL evil, I'm about darkness-murder-horror as convenience, CE guys are just nuts." #BoVD
"OK so you're an EVIL party, what do you do in town?" "I'll lay a magical trap for some peasants!" "I'm brooding!" "AM I SCORING YET?" #BoVD
Jeez can this Zehir nutjob even backstab someone for 4d6 extra damage without also casting Randian Screed? #BookOfVileDarkness
Y'know, lady, your lingerie doesn't include any spiked chains attached to your nipple rings are you SURE you're a real Shadar-Kai? #BoVD
Ah yes, the old "I don't WANT to roleplay the NPC negotiating, the module told me there'd be a fight" plot development. #BookOVileDarkness
Vermin Lord's player says "lousy day at the Food Bank and then I cleaned 20 catboxes for the shelter, so we ARE murdering peasants." #BoVD
Shadar Kai chick could've used her Breath of the Skullgarlic utility power ALL THIS TIME and was also like naw lets kill minions. #BoVD
Zehir assassin is leaving the party 'cause "John of Galt never needed a wizard and a cleric to help kick dracolich pelvis." #BoVD
Oh wow, it took me 2/3ds this movie to clue in, Vimak's supposed to be a Goliath. #BookOfVileDarkness
What do children like? Children like DRAINING LEVELS! #BookOfVileDarkness
Hero Protagopants gets his chance to be a Death Knight! I can see where this is going, his dad's blood is gonna be #BoVD's ink or something.
Now a REAL fallen paladin faced with the horror of one last betrayal like this would jump out the window to certain death, just sayin. #BoVD
And they're like "OH YEAH! THE MORE LAWFUL GOOD YOU ARE THE BETTER THIS NEUTRAL EVIL BOOK'S GONNA BE KEEP IT COMING!" #BookOfVD
So in the end, what triumphed was a mix of noble ideals and kinky sex with Shadar Kai. #BookOfVealDarkness
#BookOfVileDarkness got interrupted by having to relocate from cafe closing for the night. Just pretend it's a message from our sponsor...
... YEENOGHU, BEAST OF BUTCHERY, LORD OF GNOLLS! ALL HAIL THE CARRION THRONE! Err sorry. Not sure what came over me. Must be the #BookOfVD.
Then the sword leaves, first saying "Farewell, friend! I was more evil than you ever were!" No wait... I was finishing the #BookOfVDarkness
All told, #BookOfVileDarkness was a way better movie than I expected it to be. I was honestly *expecting* one of the worst movies ever.
My biggest disappointment with #BookOfVileDarkness is that it didn't have Brian Blessed, but that's my disappointment with most movies.
So basically Nhagruul lived on as the #BookOVileDarkness turning all who read it evil, thus insuring the library wouldn't get it back.
1200 years is a long time for evil to triumph without challenge from a plucky group of 4-6 player characters of levels 8-12. #BoVD
Okay so the #BoVD is now in three pieces, so a collect-the-parts and destroy-the-evil-artifact campaigns.
Uh dude maybe Pelor didn't zap YOU into being the first real knight of the New Sun in 800 years is because you're kinda arrogant? #BoVD
Okay so after the Night's Watch got massacred Sir Young White Maleprotagonist is tracking the Wildlings on foot through um, a river. #BoVD
Okay the cheesiness of the magic-weapon/armor/ring/bag o holding buying spree is both hideous and pure D&D. #BookOVileDarkness
Okay so all it took was "I'm a Knight of the New Sun like your brother" and this NPC spills the entire adventure set-up. #BookOfVileDorkness
#BoVD is getting to be like a bad joke. Shadar Kai elite artillery, a Zehir assassin and a Vermin template walk into a Flind Bar and say OW.
The gods of Convenient Plot arranged that Ser Hero Squarejaw could kill a Half Elf Brute as self defense, which isn't "in cold blood" #BoVD
THE CAVE OF CAER BANNOG! WHEREIN, CARVED IN MYSTIC RUNES UPON THE VERY LIVING ROCK, THE LAST WORDS OF OLFIN BEWYR OF RHEGED *kaboom*
MAKE PLAIN THE RESTING PLACE OF THE MOST HOLY GRAIL. #BookOVileDarkness #OkaySoQuotingMontyPythonIsCheapNObvious
GO GO GADGET OPTIC NERVE! Making your eyeball vulnerable 50' ahead of a party not in metal armor is really not a useful ability in DnD.#BoVD
Vermin Lord's all "unholy Vecna this is why I'm NEUTRAL evil, I'm about darkness-murder-horror as convenience, CE guys are just nuts." #BoVD
"OK so you're an EVIL party, what do you do in town?" "I'll lay a magical trap for some peasants!" "I'm brooding!" "AM I SCORING YET?" #BoVD
Jeez can this Zehir nutjob even backstab someone for 4d6 extra damage without also casting Randian Screed? #BookOfVileDarkness
Y'know, lady, your lingerie doesn't include any spiked chains attached to your nipple rings are you SURE you're a real Shadar-Kai? #BoVD
Ah yes, the old "I don't WANT to roleplay the NPC negotiating, the module told me there'd be a fight" plot development. #BookOVileDarkness
Vermin Lord's player says "lousy day at the Food Bank and then I cleaned 20 catboxes for the shelter, so we ARE murdering peasants." #BoVD
Shadar Kai chick could've used her Breath of the Skullgarlic utility power ALL THIS TIME and was also like naw lets kill minions. #BoVD
Zehir assassin is leaving the party 'cause "John of Galt never needed a wizard and a cleric to help kick dracolich pelvis." #BoVD
Oh wow, it took me 2/3ds this movie to clue in, Vimak's supposed to be a Goliath. #BookOfVileDarkness
What do children like? Children like DRAINING LEVELS! #BookOfVileDarkness
Hero Protagopants gets his chance to be a Death Knight! I can see where this is going, his dad's blood is gonna be #BoVD's ink or something.
Now a REAL fallen paladin faced with the horror of one last betrayal like this would jump out the window to certain death, just sayin. #BoVD
And they're like "OH YEAH! THE MORE LAWFUL GOOD YOU ARE THE BETTER THIS NEUTRAL EVIL BOOK'S GONNA BE KEEP IT COMING!" #BookOfVD
So in the end, what triumphed was a mix of noble ideals and kinky sex with Shadar Kai. #BookOfVealDarkness
#BookOfVileDarkness got interrupted by having to relocate from cafe closing for the night. Just pretend it's a message from our sponsor...
... YEENOGHU, BEAST OF BUTCHERY, LORD OF GNOLLS! ALL HAIL THE CARRION THRONE! Err sorry. Not sure what came over me. Must be the #BookOfVD.
Then the sword leaves, first saying "Farewell, friend! I was more evil than you ever were!" No wait... I was finishing the #BookOfVDarkness
All told, #BookOfVileDarkness was a way better movie than I expected it to be. I was honestly *expecting* one of the worst movies ever.
My biggest disappointment with #BookOfVileDarkness is that it didn't have Brian Blessed, but that's my disappointment with most movies.