The Crazy Cover Letters of Arthur Brown

[brushwolf]

Dear Hiring Manager;

I'm an experienced office professional who's worked in a variety of industries, from aerospace manufacturing to nonprofit agencies. I hope to bring fire to your team as the new god of Hellfire! Some of the skills and experience which I can contribute include;

• taking a team of 4-6 sales employees to learn
  
• following up with effective, on-site presentations on how to burn
  
• jogging in place while wearing a lot of body paint
  
• vlookups, hlookups, pivot tables and other advanced Excel functions