The Crazy Kitchen of Arthur Brown

I am the god of NOODLES! And I bring you...

PASTA! doo doo doo I take you to toil! doo doo doo doo
PASTA! doo doo doo I bring you to boil! doo doo doo doo
I'll see you boil! doo doo doo doo dooooooooooooooo

Mix the garlic and the olive oil
But now it's time to boil
Add some salt a little salt
You know that you will taste it all
Ohhhhhh nooo!

The Crazy Cover Letters of Arthur Brown

Dear Hiring Manager;

I'm an experienced office professional who's worked in a variety of industries, from aerospace manufacturing to nonprofit agencies. I hope to bring fire to your team as the new god of Hellfire! Some of the skills and experience which I can contribute include;

• taking a team of 4-6 sales employees to learn
  
• following up with effective, on-site presentations on how to burn
  
• jogging in place while wearing a lot of body paint
  
• vlookups, hlookups, pivot tables and other advanced Excel functions