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brushwolfI was bitching about how Conan doesn't need an origin story. And then I realized that, were to be a film adaptation of Fafhrd and the Grey Mouser, you can bet that F & GM wouldn't just be guys with eccentric wizardly patrons doing adventuresome things worldwide.
Instead, the movie would feature Fafhrd and the Grey Mouser orphaned by mysterious raiders in different parts of the world, and adopted by Ningauble and Sheelba. Initially the two wizards were expecting only one Chosen One, but since there are two boys tattooed with the Brand of Destiny, Ningauble teaches the boys wizardry and Sheelba teaches them swordsmanship. Instead of facing their fated roles, the young men run off to Lankhmar where they fall afoul of the powerful Thieves' Guild, and must carve out a bloody vengeance. Although there's a side-plot where both men want to be exclusive with this hot ghoul chick (because we're obliged to have a love interest and indicate that our duo are Not Gay, plus having someone with barely-visible flesh means more CG), friendship triumphs in the end. Together with ghoul babe they find that the Thieves' Guild were just pawns of the Gods of Lankhmar (not the Gods in Lankhmar), who are;
Then there'd be a huge fight over a lake of boiling acid, or they'd be saved at the last moment by the sea dragon intended for the Time Zoo, or whatever. Everyone bad would die. Everyone good would live. There'd be some pithy comment and an "easter egg" after the credits.
That plot of course assumes that the villains behind the Thieves' Guild aren't the Rat God and his followers, or that the writers don't churn out something only vaguely tangential to Lieber canon.
Instead, the movie would feature Fafhrd and the Grey Mouser orphaned by mysterious raiders in different parts of the world, and adopted by Ningauble and Sheelba. Initially the two wizards were expecting only one Chosen One, but since there are two boys tattooed with the Brand of Destiny, Ningauble teaches the boys wizardry and Sheelba teaches them swordsmanship. Instead of facing their fated roles, the young men run off to Lankhmar where they fall afoul of the powerful Thieves' Guild, and must carve out a bloody vengeance. Although there's a side-plot where both men want to be exclusive with this hot ghoul chick (because we're obliged to have a love interest and indicate that our duo are Not Gay, plus having someone with barely-visible flesh means more CG), friendship triumphs in the end. Together with ghoul babe they find that the Thieves' Guild were just pawns of the Gods of Lankhmar (not the Gods in Lankhmar), who are;
- actually the wizard order that cast out Ningauble and Sheelba centuries ago and
- the power behind the mysterious raiders
- and there'd be the inevitable faux-fatherhood, join-the-dark-side line about how the Gods of Lankhmar really made Fafhrd and the Grey Mouser
Then there'd be a huge fight over a lake of boiling acid, or they'd be saved at the last moment by the sea dragon intended for the Time Zoo, or whatever. Everyone bad would die. Everyone good would live. There'd be some pithy comment and an "easter egg" after the credits.
That plot of course assumes that the villains behind the Thieves' Guild aren't the Rat God and his followers, or that the writers don't churn out something only vaguely tangential to Lieber canon.