Livetweeting movies; animated Hellboy films!

Another Friday wanting to run D&D. No gaming group. But what I do have is Red Stripe, bagels, movies. Let's start with #HellboyBloodAndIron.

#HellboyBandA starts with Prof. Trevor Bruttenholme talking about how Hellboy was raised by this awesome guy. Biased I guess?

omg Hellboy's fighting a minotaur in a sewer system and being watched by a mysterious female figure with glowing eyes AWESOME

Kriegsaffe style flail-fist. THIS IS BETTER THAN HELLBOY THE GOLDEN ARMY.

And now Abe's pulled the glowing skull off a robot. Seriously this movie is too much awesome for one Red Stripe AND I'M ONLY 5 MINUTES IN.

Ut-oh. A party of un-named BPRD wonks including a clergyman, in a manor in a cemetery. I sense an incipient plot-driving NPC massacre.

THEY JUST HAD A MIGNOLA IRON-MAIDEN-WITH-BLOOD-FROM-EYES. Maybe I should just yell BOOM every time something awesome happens in this movie.

Vampire on ceiling feeding from unfortunate NPC. Gotta go do what I do. BOOM! *drinks*

Wait. Liz is TRAUMATIZED by her powers. She wouldn't use them to heat cold coffee even if she could focus that well.

Hey! What has really bad burgers that give you the shits? "I think I see a castle there on that hill!" #HellboyBandI

Huh, Abe's breath steams. I didn't know that. If he's mammalian maybe he's actually more of a pinniped dude.

I don't understand how punching noncorporeal entities will help anything. Maybe the Right Hand of Doom hits astral stuff too. *drinks*

Wow they're riffing on totally different canon than the events of Hellboy Wake The Devil and also this Red Stripe is empty.

Oh yeah they just did the Mignola impaled-on-taxidermy-head-horns! BOOM! *drinks*

Mignola fall into underground crypt. Boom. *drinks*

OMG HE JUST (nearly) SAID THE LINE ABOUT LADY I WAS GONNA CUT YOU SOME SLACK CAUSE YOU'RE A MAJOR MYTHOLOGICAL FIGURE! #GeeksOut #Boom

If they have the line about it can't work 'cause you're really ugly and you have a giant snake for a body, I AM gonna chug this beer.

OH YEAH FISTFIGHT WITH THE IRON MAIDEN LIKE IN WAKE THE DEVIL SO AWESOMELY DUMB!

Okay, I'm back, and this time, I've got PAMCAKES. It's time for #HellboySwordofStorms.

The Aztecs. Their civilization didn't use wheels yet they were adept at creating all manner of Gygaxian death traps for player characters.

Awww man they set fire to all the mummies and made Camazotz sad and then they set fire to Camazotz whassup with that.

Oh man this movie's gonna have oni. That's so awesome I'm going to need another Red Stripe.

LONG AGO IN A DISTANT LAND THE BROTHERS THUNDER AND LIGHTNING UNLEASHED AN UNSPEAKABLE EVIL BUT A FOOLISH SAMURAI WIELDING A MAGIC SWORD ETC

And you're saying the princess went to a HIDDEN FORTRESS high in the mountains? I could swear that sounds familiar.

Awww man this Kamakura period scroll blew a fuse.

Wait if it's being displayed like a tachi (only without any respect) then how is it a late 16th century sword owned by Musashi?

OMG THEY JUST REFERENCED THE HOUNDS OF KING VOLD BEING TRANSFORMED VIKINGR! Awesome comic book reference!

"Ghost hacked humans are so pathetic" oh wait wrong back alleyway in different animated film set in Japan.

Oh wow they did Heads and now there's a jorogumo. Please don't ask me why I remember the term "jorogumo" with no difficulty.

A giant glowing rift just opened in the Pacific off Japan, and tentacles came out. #HellboySwordofStorms was made years before Pacific Rim!

Uh-oh, bamboo forest. I've watched all these wuxia films, that's never good. Something's gonna try to fight him just 'cause it's thematic.

Aw man he showed up with a whole batch of random gunk all more than a century old. DESTROY THEM MY GETA!

Oh man a gashodokuro, that's awesome!

NPCs outgassing is *never* ever a good sign.

(no subject)

"Dost thou like our owl?"
"'Tis with artifice made?"
"Of course 'tis."
"An' it must be of goodly value, as precious saffron of the far-flung Indies derived, or of the greatest glittering gem that do the African mountains boast."
"Very. I'm Rachael."
"I hight Deckerd."
"Methinks of ye that you judge our work not of benefit to the publick."
"Replicants are like unto aught all other machines, be they of benefit or hazard; if benefit they be, 'tis not my problem."
"May I this personal question ask of ye?"
"Aye!"
"Hast though e'er retired a human, by great and foul error?"
"Nay."
"But within thy occupation, 'tis also such hazard?"
"Be this a test of empathy to harrow the soul, that questions may freeze the young blood, make thy youthful eyes start from their sockets, make each hair part and stand on end like quills upon the frightful porcupine?"
"We clepe it Voight-Kampff in short."