Lvetweeting movies; Beowulf

It's time for that movie with the dragon, based on the book everyone knows. That's right! Time for 2007's #Beowulf. #Hwaet

My name is Ahmed ibn-Fadlan ibn-Abbas ibn-Hamid ibn-Rashid, and things were not always thus. #NotBeowulf

What do we want! MEAD! When do we want it! DENMARK, AD 507! #Beowulf

I built a mead-hall! It fell into the swamp. I built another mead-hall! The fiend accursed by God tore my thanes limb from limb every night.

The story begins with King Hrothgar celebrating his eleventy-first birthday. #ProudFEET #Beowulf

Oh shit, it's the king's advisor, Unferth! How can Hrothgar not clue in that he's probably working for Saruman? #Beowulf

I'm really enjoying this cutscene but I think I really want to start actually playing Skyrim now. #Beowulf

No fences, you couldn't even keep a cow out of this place. #NotBeowulf

Oh shit! Someone axed Grendel right in The Precious! He's for it now, gollum! #Beowulf

AW MAN DANISH BONDI FOR DINNER AGAIN THEY ALWAYS USE TOO MUCH DILL #Beowulf

WHY do they have a square sail aloft in heavy weather? WHY are they trying to row in it, WHILE UNDER SAIL? #Hwaet #Beowulf

What business does a Geat, another Geat, and an entire heavily armed strandhogg party of Geats have in Rohan? #Beowulf

Every time #Beowulf shows up yell ZET WAS GOD CYNING and throw popcorn at the screen. Or possibly franciscas and seaxes.

So wait a moment if Heorot was closed all this time where was Grendel killing thegns, the auxilliary backup meadhall? #Beowulf

IT'S GOT TO BE DRINK O'CLOCK SOMEWHERE IN MIDGARD! #Beowulf

"No wai ergi dude there was a storm AND sea serpents & I stabbed ALL of them IN TEH EYE" "Futhark inscription or it didn't happen." #Beowulf

Oh dude, stop it right now. Sea monster, mermaid. You got it on with a MANATEE, didn't you? #Beowulf

Wait wait wait that's not anything LIKE the Sutton Hoo lyre THIS MOVIE HAS ANACHRONISMS! #Beowulf

Oh man do NOT go resting your neck on the edge of the treasure chest I've read about Weyland are you freakin' out of your gourd? #Beowulf

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Wait he was wearing a chainmail hauberk with no padding this whole time? No wonder he wants to take it off, that's dangerous! #Beowulf

Somebody wake up Hicks. #NotBeowulf

Oh man that is NOT a good place to get splinters. #Beowulf

But not this day! Swords shall be SHATTERED! Shields shall be SPLINTERED! THE HORN OF HELM HAMMERHAND SHALL SOUND IN THE DEEP! #NotBeowulf

Wow. She literally gave him the horn. I... wow. #Beowulf

A dream to some. A NIGHTMARE TO OTHERS! (Seriously. This movie lends itself to quoting so many others.) #EvenMoreNotBeowulf

Well at least the floaty glowgirl didn't do the "but no more I shall diminish and go into the west and be no more Galadriel" thing. #Beowulf

I always hold a torch about a foot away from my face whenever I'm dungeon-crawlin' to make sure my night vision is totally lost! #Beowulf

oh geez he's gonna get it on with the ECL 34 lady. This doesn't have "really terrible idea" or "alignment violation" all over it. #Beowulf

You see, the Horn is seeking its master. It wants to be found. #Beowulf

Wait. The Prince of Denmark would count himself a king of infinite space but that he has bad dreams? Think I've seen it before. #Beowulf

I like the way #Beowulf basically has Raedwald's shield from Barrow I in gleaming metal. That's pretty cool.

And now all these memories will be lost like tears in the rain. #InsertIntoAnyDeathSpeechReally #Beowulf

Wait you mean they don't have swords? What kinda self-respecting Viking age man doesn't give his wife a sword for home protection? #Beowulf

Huh. Dragons actually have disproportionally small hearts in their throats. Never knew that before. #Beowulf

Okay so the movie ends with #Beowulf slaying Mordred and then a ship bears him off to Avalon and they don't even recite the Death Prayer.

That was a great 2 hour long cutscene. Too bad the game play was so poor. I clicked on all the NPCs for half of #Beowulf but got nothing!